说出你的真理，并在别人身上寻求它们
Say your truths and seek them in others
演讲者：Casey Brown
Like many of us, I've had several careers in my life, and although they've been varied, my first job set the foundation for all of them. I was a home-birth midwife throughout my 20s. Delivering babies taught me valuable and sometimes surprising things, like how to start a car at 2am. when it's 10 degrees below zero.
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像我们许多人一样，我一生中从事过几种职业，尽管它们多种多样，但我的第一份工作奠定了基础。 对于他们所有人。 我是一名家庭分娩助产士 在我20多岁的时候。 接生教会了我 有价值，有时令人惊讶的事情，比如如何在凌晨2点启动汽车。 当它低于零下 10 度时。
Or how to revive a father who's fainted at the sight of blood.
或者如何复活父亲 谁在看到血时晕倒了。
Or how to cut the umbilical cord just so, to make a beautiful belly button.
或者如何剪断脐带，做一个漂亮的肚脐。
But those aren't the things that stuck with me or guided me when I stopped being a midwife and started other jobs. What stuck with me was this bedrock belief that each one of us comes into this world with a unique worth. When I looked into the face of a newborn, I caught a glimpse of that worthiness, that sense of unapologetic selfhood, that unique spark. I use the word "soul" to describe that spark, because it's the only word in English that comes close to naming what each baby brought into the room.
但这些都不是事情 当我不再做助产士时，它一直困扰着我或指导我 并开始了其他工作。 让我难以忘怀的是这种坚如磐石的信念，即我们每个人都来到这个世界。 具有独特的价值。 当我看着一个新生儿的脸时，我瞥见了那种价值，那种毫无歉意的自我感，那种独特的火花。 我用“灵魂”这个词 来描述这种火花，因为它是英语中唯一的单词 这几乎是每个婴儿带入房间的名字。
Every newborn was as singular as a snowflake, a matchless mash-up of biology and ancestry and mystery. And then that baby grows up, and in order to fit into the family, to conform to the culture, to the community, to the gender, that little one begins to cover its soul, layer by layer. We're born this way, but --
每个新生儿都是独一无二的 作为一片雪花，生物学、祖先和神秘的无与伦比的混搭。 然后那个婴儿长大了，为了融入家庭，为了适应文化，符合社区，符合性别，那个小家伙开始一层一层地覆盖它的灵魂。 我们生来就是这样，但是——
But as we grow, a lot of things happen to us that make us ... want to hide our soulful eccentricities and authenticity. We've all done this. Everyone in this room is a former baby --
但随着我们的成长，很多 发生在我们身上的事情使我们... 想隐藏我们的深情 怪癖和真实性。 我们都这样做了。 这个房间里的每个人都是以前的婴儿——
with a distinctive birthright. But as adults, we spend so much of our time uncomfortable in our own skin, like we have ADD: authenticity deficit disorder. But not those babies -- not yet. Their message to me was: uncover your soul and look for that soul-spark in everyone else. It's still there.
具有独特的与生俱来的权利。 但作为成年人，我们花了很多钱 我们的时间在我们自己的皮肤上不舒服，就像我们有 ADD： 真实性缺陷障碍。 但不是那些婴儿 - 还没有。 他们给我的信息是：揭开你的灵魂，在其他人身上寻找灵魂的火花。 它仍然在那里。
And here's what I learned from laboring women. Their message was about staying open, even when things are painful. A woman's cervix normally looks like this. It's a tight little muscle at the base of the uterus. And during labor, it has to stretch from this to this. Ouch! If you fight against that pain, you just create more pain, and you block what wants to be born.
这是我学到的 来自劳动妇女。 他们的信息是保持开放，即使事情很痛苦。 女性的子宫颈通常看起来像这样。 它是子宫底部的一块紧绷的小肌肉。 在分娩期间， 它必须从这里延伸到这里。 哎哟！ 如果你与这种痛苦作斗争，你只会制造更多的痛苦，你阻止了想要出生的东西。
I'll never forget the magic that would happen when a woman stopped resisting the pain and opened. It was as if the forces of the universe took notice and sent in a wave of help. I never forgot that message, and now, when difficult or painful things happen to me in my life or my work, of course at first I resist them, but then I remember what I learned from the mothers: stay open. Stay curious. Ask the pain what it's come to deliver. Something new wants to be born.
我永远不会忘记魔力 当一个女人停止抵抗疼痛并打开时，就会发生这种情况。 仿佛力量 的宇宙注意到并派出了一波帮助。 我从未忘记那条信息，现在，当困难时 或者在我的生活或工作中发生在我身上的痛苦事情，当然一开始我会抵制它们，但后来我想起了 我从母亲那里学到的是：保持开放。 保持好奇心。 问问痛苦它会带来什么。 新的东西想要诞生。
And there was one more big soulful lesson, and that one I learned from Albert Einstein. He wasn't at any of the births, but --
还有一个重要的深情教训，我学到了那个。 来自阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦。 他没有参加任何分娩，但是——
It was a lesson about time. At the end of his life, Albert Einstein concluded that our normal, hamster-wheel experience of life is an illusion. We run round and round, faster and faster, trying to get somewhere. And all the while, underneath surface time is this whole other dimension where the past and the present and the future merge and become deep time. And there's nowhere to get to.
这是一个关于时间的教训。 在他生命的尽头， 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦得出结论，我们正常的仓鼠轮 对生活的体验是一种幻觉。 我们跑了一圈又一圈，越来越快，试图到达某个地方。 一直以来，在表面时间之下 是过去和现在的整个另一个维度吗 和未来融合，成为深邃的时间。 而且无处可去。
Albert Einstein called this state, this dimension, "only being." And he said when he experienced it, he knew sacred awe. When I was delivering babies, I was forced off the hamster wheel. Sometimes I had to sit for days, hours and hours, just breathing with the parents; just being. And I got a big dose of sacred awe.
阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦称 这个状态，这个维度，“只有存在”。 他说，当他经历它时，他知道神圣的敬畏。 当我分娩时，我被迫离开仓鼠轮。 有时我不得不坐好几天， 几个小时，只是和父母一起呼吸; 只是存在。 我得到了一股神圣的敬畏。
So those are the three lessons I took with me from midwifery. One: uncover your soul. Two: when things get difficult or painful, try to stay open. And three: every now and then, step off your hamster wheel into deep time.
所以这是三个教训 我从助产士那里带走了。 一：揭开你的灵魂。 二：当事情变得困难时 或痛苦，尽量保持开放。 三：时不时地， 离开你的仓鼠轮进入深时间。
Those lessons have served me throughout my life, but they really served me recently, when I took on the most important job of my life thus far.
这些教训对我有用 在我的一生中，但他们最近真的为我服务，当我承担最多的时候 到目前为止，我生命中的重要工作。
Two years ago, my younger sister came out of remission from a rare blood cancer, and the only treatment left for her was a bone marrow transplant. And against the odds, we found a match for her, who turned out to be me. I come from a family of four girls, and when my sisters found out that I was my sister's perfect genetic match, their reaction was, "Really? You?"
两年前，我的妹妹 从罕见的血癌中缓解出来，留给她的唯一治疗方法 是骨髓移植。 逆境而行， 我们为她找到了匹配对象，原来是我。 我来自一个有四个女孩的家庭，当我的姐妹们发现 我是我姐姐的完美基因匹配，他们的反应是，“真的吗？你？
"A perfect match for her?" Which is pretty typical for siblings. In a sibling society, there's lots of things. There's love and there's friendship and there's protection. But there's also jealousy and competition and rejection and attack. In siblinghood, that's where we start assembling many of those first layers that cover our soul.
“她是绝配？” 这对兄弟姐妹来说是非常典型的。 在兄弟姐妹社会中， 有很多事情。 有爱，有友谊 还有保护。 但也有嫉妒、竞争、拒绝和攻击。 在兄弟姐妹中，这就是我们开始的地方 组装许多覆盖我们灵魂的第一层。
When I discovered I was my sister's match, I went into research mode. And I discovered that the premise of transplants is pretty straightforward. You destroy all the bone marrow in the cancer patient with massive doses of chemotherapy, and then you replace that marrow with several million healthy marrow cells from a donor. And then you do everything you can to make sure that those new cells engraft in the patient. I also learned that bone marrow transplants are fraught with danger. If my sister made it through the near-lethal chemotherapy, she still would face other challenges. My cells might attack her body. And her body might reject my cells. They call this rejection or attack, and both could kill her.
当我发现我是姐姐的对手时，我进入了研究模式。 我发现移植的前提 很简单。 你摧毁了所有的骨髓 在癌症患者中接受大剂量化疗，然后你用数百万健康的骨髓代替骨髓 来自供体的骨髓细胞。 然后你尽你所能确保那些新细胞 植入患者体内。 我还了解到骨髓 移植充满了危险。 如果我姐姐成功了 通过近乎致命的化疗，她仍然会面临其他挑战。 我的细胞可能会攻击她的身体。 她的身体可能会排斥我的细胞。 他们称之为拒绝或攻击，两者都可能杀死她。
Rejection. Attack. Those words had a familiar ring in the context of being siblings. My sister and I had a long history of love, but we also had a long history of rejection and attack, from minor misunderstandings to bigger betrayals. We didn't have the kind of the relationship where we talked about the deeper stuff; but, like many siblings and like people in all kinds of relationships, we were hesitant to tell our truths, to reveal our wounds, to admit our wrongdoings.
拒绝。攻击。 这些话在兄弟姐妹的语境中有着熟悉的响声。 我和姐姐有 悠久的爱情历史，但我们也有悠久的历史 拒绝和攻击，来自小误解 到更大的背叛。 我们没有 我们谈论更深层次的东西的那种关系; 但是，像许多兄弟姐妹和喜欢的人一样 在各种关系中，我们不愿说出真相，不愿透露自己的伤口，不愿承认自己的错误。
But when I learned about the dangers of rejection or attack, I thought, it's time to change this. What if we left the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but did something that we later came to call our "soul marrow transplant?" What if we faced any pain we had caused each other, and instead of rejection or attack, could we listen? Could we forgive? Could we merge? Would that teach our cells to do the same?
但是当我了解到 拒绝或攻击的危险，我想，是时候改变这一点了。 如果我们离开骨髓怎么办 移植到医生那里，但做了一些我们后来来的事情 称我们的“灵魂骨髓移植”？ 如果我们面临任何痛苦怎么办 我们互相造成了对方，与其拒绝或攻击，我们能倾听吗？ 我们能原谅吗？ 我们可以合并吗？ 这会教我们的细胞也这样做吗？
To woo my skeptical sister, I turned to my parents' holy text: the New Yorker Magazine.
为了讨好我怀疑的妹妹， 我翻阅了我父母的圣书：《纽约客杂志》。
I sent her a cartoon from its pages as a way of explaining why we should visit a therapist before having my bone marrow harvested and transplanted into her body. Here it is.
我从书页中给她发了一幅漫画，作为解释的一种方式 为什么我们应该在摘取骨髓之前去看治疗师 并移植到她的体内。 在这里。
"I have never forgiven him for that thing I made up in my head."
“我从来没有原谅过他的事情 我在脑子里下定了决心。
I told my sister we had probably been doing the same thing, carting around made-up stories in our heads that kept us separate. And I told her that after the transplant, all of the blood flowing in her veins would be my blood, made from my marrow cells, and that inside the nucleus of each of those cells is a complete set of my DNA. "I will be swimming around in you for the rest of your life," I told my slightly horrified sister.
我告诉我姐姐，我们可能一直在做同样的事情，到处编造的故事。 在我们的脑海中，这使我们分开。 我告诉她，移植后，她血管中流动的所有血液都是我的血液，由我的骨髓细胞制成，并且在细胞核内。 这些细胞中的每一个都是我完整的一套DNA。 “我会在你身上游来游去 一辈子，“我告诉我有点惊恐的妹妹。
"I think we better clean up our relationship."
“我认为我们最好清理一下 我们的关系。
A health crisis makes people do all sorts of risky things, like quitting a job or jumping out of an airplane and, in the case of my sister, saying "yes" to several therapy sessions, during which we got down to the marrow. We looked at and released years of stories and assumptions about each other and blame and shame until all that was left was love.
健康危机使人们 做各种冒险的事情，比如辞职 或者跳下飞机，就我姐姐而言，对几次治疗说“是”，在此期间我们深入骨髓。 我们看了看并发布了多年来关于彼此的故事和假设，责备和羞耻，直到只剩下爱。
People have said I was brave to undergo the bone marrow harvest, but I don't think so. What felt brave to me was that other kind of harvest and transplant, the soul marrow transplant, getting emotionally naked with another human being, putting aside pride and defensiveness, lifting the layers and sharing with each other our vulnerable souls. I called on those midwife lessons: uncover your soul. Open to what's scary and painful. Look for the sacred awe.
人们说我很勇敢 进行骨髓收获，但我不这么认为。 对我来说，勇敢的是另一种 收获和移植，灵魂骨髓移植，情感赤裸 与另一个人，抛开骄傲和防御，层层叠叠，彼此分享 我们脆弱的灵魂。 我呼吁那些助产士的教训：揭开你的灵魂。 对可怕和痛苦的事情敞开心扉。 寻找神圣的敬畏。
Here I am with my marrow cells after the harvest. That's they call it -- "harvest," like it's some kind of bucolic farm-to-table event --
我和我的骨髓细胞在这里 收获后。 这就是他们所说的——“收获”，就像是某种田园风光。 从农场到餐桌的活动 --
Which I can assure you it is not. And here is my brave, brave sister receiving my cells. After the transplant, we began to spend more and more time together. It was as if we were little girls again. The past and the present merged. We entered deep time. I left the hamster wheel of work and life to join my sister on that lonely island of illness and healing. We spent months together -- in the isolation unit, in the hospital and in her home.
我可以向你保证，事实并非如此。 这是我勇敢的，勇敢的姐姐接受我的细胞。 移植后，我们开始花 在一起的时间越来越多。 就好像我们又是小女孩一样。 过去和现在融合在一起。 我们进入了深邃的时间。 我离开了工作和生活的仓鼠轮，和姐姐一起踏上了那个孤独的疾病和治愈之岛。 我们一起度过了几个月 - 在隔离病房，在医院和她的家中。
Our fast-paced society does not support or even value this kind of work. We see it as a disruption of real life and important work. We worry about the emotional drain and the financial cost -- and, yes, there is a financial cost. But I was paid in the kind of currency our culture seems to have forgotten all about. I was paid in love. I was paid in soul. I was paid in my sister.
我们快节奏的社会不支持甚至不重视 这种工作。 我们认为这是一种颠覆 现实生活和重要工作。 我们担心情绪消耗 还有财务成本——是的，还有财务成本。 但我是以我们的文化支付的货币 似乎已经忘记了这一切。 我得到了爱的报酬。 我得到了灵魂的报酬。 我是在我姐姐那里得到报酬的。
My sister said the year after transplant was the best year of her life, which was surprising. She suffered so much. But she said life never tasted as sweet, and that because of the soul-baring and the truth-telling we had done with each other, she became more unapologetically herself with everyone. She said things she'd always needed to say. She did things she always wanted to do. The same happened for me. I became braver about being authentic with the people in my life. I said my truths, but more important than that, I sought the truth of others.
我姐姐说移植后的第二年 是她一生中最美好的一年，令人惊讶。 她受了那么多苦。 但她说，生活从来没有尝到过甜蜜的味道，因为灵魂裸露和讲真话。 我们彼此相处了，她对每个人都变得更加无怨无悔。 她说的话 她总是需要说。 她做了她一直想做的事情。 同样的事情也发生在我身上。 我变得更勇敢地做真实 和我生命中的人在一起。 我说了我的真相，但比这更重要， 我寻求别人的真理。
It wasn't until the final chapter of this story that I realized just how well midwifery had trained me. After that best year of my sister's life, the cancer came roaring back, and this time there was nothing more the doctors could do. They gave her just a couple of months to live.
直到 这个故事的最后一章，我意识到了它有多好 助产士培训了我。 在我姐姐生命中最美好的一年之后，癌症又卷土重来，这一次什么都没有了 医生可以做到。 他们给了她只是 还有几个月的生命。
The night before my sister died, I sat by her bedside. She was so small and thin. I could see the blood pulsing in her neck. It was my blood, her blood, our blood. When she died, part of me would die, too.
姐姐去世的前一天晚上，我坐在她的床边。 她又小又瘦。 我可以看到她脖子上的血液在跳动。 那是我的血，她的血，我们的血。 当她死的时候，我的一部分也会死去。
I tried to make sense of it all, how becoming one with each other had made us more ourselves, our soul selves, and how by facing and opening to the pain of our past, we'd finally been delivered to each other, and how by stepping out of time, we would now be connected forever.
我试图理解这一切，如何彼此合而为一，使我们更加自我，我们的灵魂自我，以及如何通过面对和开放来面对和开放。 在過去的痛苦中，我們終於被交付給彼此，以及通過走出時間，我們現在將永遠連結在一起。
My sister left me with so many things, and I'm going to leave you now with just one of them. You don't have to wait for a life-or-death situation to clean up the relationships that matter to you, to offer the marrow of your soul and to seek it in another. We can all do this. We can be like a new kind of first responder, like the one to take the first courageous step toward the other, and to do something or try to do something other than rejection or attack. We can do this with our siblings and our mates and our friends and our colleagues. We can do this with the disconnection and the discord all around us. We can do this for the soul of the world.
我姐姐给我留下了很多东西，我现在就要离开你 只有其中之一。 您不必等待 为了生死攸关的局面来清理关系 这对你来说很重要，献上你灵魂的骨髓并在另一个人身上寻求它。 我们都可以做到这一点。 我们可以像一种新的 的第一响应者，就像要带走的那个 勇敢地迈向对方的第一步，做某事或试图做某事，而不是拒绝或攻击。 我们可以与我们的兄弟姐妹、我们的伙伴、我们的朋友和我们的同事一起做到这一点。 我们可以在我们周围的断开连接和不和谐的情况下做到这一点。 我们可以为世界的灵魂做到这一点。
Thank you.
谢谢。
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